What is Gentle Canine Parenting?

Gentle Canine Parenting is not unlike “gentle parenting.” (In fact, that’s where it gets it’s name.) So let’s start there.

What is Gentle Parenting?

“Gentle Parenting is an evidence-based approach to raising happy, confident children. This parenting style is composed of four main elements-empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries.-and focuses on fostering the qualities you want in your child, by being compassionate and enforcing boundaries.”

Now let’s think about those four main elements as they relate to dogs (and all animals) don’t let the “canine” in gentle canine parenting fool you. No animal friends are excluded here.
-You’ll have to excuse my predominantly dog based language as I am a dog mom and I do my best to speak from experience but I welcome the experiences of all animal lovers and caregivers in this space. 

With that explained, let’s move on to “empathy” the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Thanks to Dr. Gregory Berns, we now know that dogs have feelings not unlike our own. Feelings such as anger, sadness, love and jealousy. Dogs have become very good over the years at reading micro expressions in humans it’s why they know to cuddle up to us when we are sad or concerned, they can tell when we get tense, feel afraid or get angry. Humans are not always the best at reading body language, even from other humans but gentle puppy parenting would have you actively looking for these cues from your animal friend so that you can do your best to recognize what they are feeling when and help them through it.

An example of this would be learning what things frighten your dog, we understand fear and anxiety and we know it’s not pleasant so what can we do? With Scout, I’ve taught him that “big noise” means it’s about to get loud so he can leave the room, come cuddle closer, whatever he needs to do to feel safe while I actively attempt to desensitize him to his fear. 

Next, respect, its a tricky thing in the animal kingdom but at the same time, completely obvious when you don’t have it. If your animal friend does not respect you as their caregiver.. good luck training them to listen to just about anything. Respect, however, can be earned by being their protectors whenever necessary and setting up healthy boundaries. Which leads us to component number three of gentle puppy parenting, boundaries. 

Setting healthy boundaries is incredibly important with all interactions, human or non-human. For our animals this can be the difference between life and death. Setting healthy boundries and expectations, not to control, but to protect our charges from the world around them is paramount. Examples of this, basic training for dogs, a basic understanding of what is and is not acceptable behavior, in your home and in public. Be as consistent as possible, let your charge know what is expected and teach them how to get there. Do not expect them to know what you want if you have not yet taught them. Saying “no” to unwanted behavior isn’t enough. Show them what behaviors are acceptable in the place of the unacceptable one.

Finally, “understanding” Did you know that at one time humans believed that animals were more akin to unfeeling robots? It sounds insane but it’s true and it’s what has led to much of how all animals are still treated to this very day. We understand more about the inner worlds of animals today than we ever have before. It seems that every day there is a new article discussing proof of sentience in another animal. With that in mind, we must never stop seeking to understand animals. Never be satisfied with what you think you know. The only constant in life is change and if you have found space for an animal in your heart and home, seeking to better understand them is the bare minimum they deserve for their continued loyalty and companionship. 

Gentle Puppy Parenting is recognizing that while our beloved animal friends do have sophisticated minds and emotions they are different than our own and as their guardians it is our responsibility to do our best to get to know their strengths and weaknesses to find the best possible way to lead them through our modern, human dominated world. They need to be taught the best ways to behave, what is and is not acceptable, while still considering their minds and instincts, to set them up for success. 

We know that animals were not placed on this earth for the sole purpose of pleasing humans. They choose to be by our side, they choose to love us, they all have different personalities just like people do and every single one of them is worth getting to know and just like people, the second you think you’ve learned  everything there is to know, you learn something new. 

So what is gentle puppy parenting? It’s learning tools to help us mold confident and emotionally stable animals that trust us to lead them. It’s watching and listening for opportunities to do and be better, for the furry ones that love us.

The Wild Prince (raised by Gentle Puppy Parenting standards)